I want to rip myself apart, limb from limb, tendon from tendon, breath from breath. I want to soar away somewhere where I don’t have to worry about fat and calories and fat and fat and fat and fat… I want to be empty and pure and I want to win this war I have with myself every. single. day. 

I want to escape- just for a moment, maybe- I’d be okay with one moment, no matter how fleeting, where there was just… nothing. No pressure. No food. No disappointment. No more feeling like I’m not good enough and that I have to be this invincible, untouchable person…

No more lying when people ask if I’m okay. I’m not.

I’m stuck here, stranded, trapped inside my own mind, buried under thoughts of perfection and unattainable dreams. Do you- does anybody- understand how awful it is to hate, more than anything, yourself?